I have been debating on whether or not I wanted to blog about this. I've decided that it's something I need to share.
This summer we found out that we were expecting, again. I can't describe the mixed emotions that came with seeing that positive pregnancy test. Fear, excitement, caution, and shock but mostly joy. Those of you who have followed our journey know that the past three years have been quite a struggle. Obviously the joy outweighed the fear, but we were quick to be cautious. Blake and I didn't share the news with anyone for fear that somehow we would jinx it. Appointment after appointment we were in awe and full of grace at the miracle God had given us. Each week that passed we were so thrilled to see our little one growing and getting bigger. Then, three weeks ago at one of our regular weekly appointments we discovered that our little one had stopped growing. We were told I would need to have surgery to remove the baby (D&C). My heart sank and the dreams I had for the pregnancy slowly faded away. After my surgery our doctor sent some of the tissue off to be tested, and we will find out soon the cause of our miscarriage. Blake and I will also have the option of finding out the gender, I have mixed emotions about this. We haven't yet named the baby like we did with Asher, I don't know if I want to this time around.
I had my surgery two weeks ago, and continue to heal both physically and emotionally each day. It isn't easy but with God's grace and mercy I am getting by. We are humbled by the prayers, texts providing comfort, and for all of the love shown to us. This isn't the end of our journey, it's simply just another bump in the road, and with each bump we grow stronger as a couple and our faith in Him gets deeper.